


I Don't Need Help (Please)

by DragonofFernweh



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Abusive Relationships, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Multi, Rape/Non-con Elements, Sympathetic Deceit Sanders, later on, sympathetic deceit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-20
Updated: 2019-02-13
Packaged: 2019-10-13 14:25:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 6
Words: 7,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17489687
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DragonofFernweh/pseuds/DragonofFernweh
Summary: Deceit is such a liar, isn't he? No one's going to believe him, so he shouldn't bother telling the truth. "Oh, what's that, you don't like this? You want me to stop? Oh, what a liar..."Deceit is caught in a web much bigger than he is, and he needs help escaping...if he can get anyone to believe him.





	1. Chapter 1

_I'm not one of them. I'm too broken for people like that._

ღ

Deceit was not having a good time. No, these light sides were so hard to listen to, with their banter and their little ideas for Thomas. None of them really understood what was best for Thomas, that sometimes what was best for them wasn’t the best for anyone else, but Thomas had to come first. No, they were all so busy trying to be benevolent, worried about everyone else…Thomas’ heart was too big for his own good. If only they could harden that a bit, it would be easier for them all.

With a sigh, Deceit pressed his fingertips against the bridge of his nose, pinching away a headache. This was getting him nowhere. “For the last time, I don’t see the point of your idea. Thomas couldn’t make it either way, we might as well spare his dignity and say it was a family emergency,” Deceit said, drawing out his words slowly as if that might get it through their thick skulls.

Patton’s mouth twisted into a frown. “Lying won’t make it better, his friends are understanding!” he said, crossing his arms. That infamous look of disappointment did not work on Deceit, Patton should know better.

Deceit rolled his eyes. He was outnumbered, as usual…ever since Virgil had decided he was too good for the rest of them. It was truly bringing a knife to a gun fight. “They’ll stop being understanding once they see how flaky Thomas is,” Deceit said, is voice turning into that mocking, syrupy-sad tone. Virgil’s eyes narrowed, but Deceit didn’t bother turning to look at him. “But, fine, if you won’t have my help, you can crash this train yourself.” With that, the lying side sunk out of the commons, even with Patton calling out after him. Deceit didn’t know why Patton bothered, it wasn’t like the others ever did.

Back in the recesses, things were much darker, and Deceit had to pause to adjust his vision. They were all in the same place, within Thomas, but it was still harrowing how different parts of Thomas’ mind were. Already, Deceit’s skin was prickling with goosebumps. He rubbed at his arms and began to walk down the corridor, fighting the urge to glance over his shoulder. He knew there was nothing there, he was fine.

He should’ve listened to his instincts. Ahead, a door opened, making Deceit pause. The air took a sudden shift. The figure standing in the door had their arms crossed, leaning against the doorframe. “Finally back?” he asked, a green glow briefly flitting across his eyes. His voice was calm, but those eyes were far from.

Deceit swallowed. “They needed my input. For as much good as it does them to ignore it,” Deceit shrugged. The figure narrowed his eyes and stepped out of the shadows, drawing to his full height. Deceit resisted the temptation to step backwards. It wasn’t that he was afraid of Jealousy, but the other side could be…unpredictable. Especially lately, with Thomas worrying about all the progress his friends were making. He’d thought he’d overcome that, but it always came back to bite, especially whenever a friend accomplished something big. Poor Thomas, always looking at everyone else.

“You’re spending an awful lot of time out there with them,” Jealousy said, casting a critical look over Deceit. Deceit cut his eyes to the side, avoiding the occasional green flicker that arose in Jealousy’s eyes. “Don’t think they’re going to take you in like they took Anxiety. He’s nothing but a traitor,” Jealousy hissed, coming closer to Deceit. Pressing cold fingertips under Deceit’s chin, Jealousy cocked his head. “And you’re not a traitor, are you, little snake?”

Deceit swallowed everything brimming at his lips. “I’m not like Virgil, no,” he answered, pulling calmness from somewhere within himself. Jealousy smirked, his grasp tightening on Deceit’s jaw enough to make him wince.

“Good. You’re all ours. You’re one of us, and you won’t forget it.” With that, Jealousy pushed Deceit back against the wall. Startled, Deceit put his hands against the other side’s chest. Jealousy was like this, sometimes. Like he was worried Deceit was going anywhere.

“Jay, relax,” Deceit said, his teeth grit as he spoke. “I’ll never forget. We’re all the same.” He looked up, searching Jealousy’s expression, but found nothing he liked. Jealousy’s brows were furrowed, his jaw locked.

“You don’t tell me to relax. I’m not one of your little light sides, I’m not weak like they are.” Jay squeezed Deceit’s wrists where he had them pressed into the wall, and Deceit fought down a pained sound. “I don’t want you over there so much. Their influence is poisoning you.” Jay was silent for a second, simply looking at Deceit, before he let go and stormed off. Deceit rubbed at his wrists and watched the jealous side leave. It was…sweet, that Jealousy worried. But there was no reason.

Deceit had nowhere else to go.


	2. Chapter 2

Deceit pulled his cloak tighter around himself, trying fervently to ward off the chill that permeated the darker side of Thomas' mind. It was always harder when he came back from the lighter side, where the main, most prevalent sides of Thomas tended to stay. It was…warm, over there, brighter. But it wasn't for Deceit, he didn't belong there, and he didn't want to. His place was here, with the other dark sides. He wasn't a traitor like Vir—like Anxiety. Jay hated when Deceit used Anxiety's name, he'd said the anxious side lost that right when he abandoned them to play with the light sides. Only those who earned it deserved their name.

Suddenly, a hand grasped Deceit's wrist, yanking him around. Deceit didn't manage to stifle the gasp that jumped up his throat. "Jay, you almost scared me…" Deceit glanced up at the other side's face, but he was quick to pin his gaze to the side. "What are you doing creeping around the halls this late?"

Jay's face was stony, cold. He'd not let go of Deceit's wrist, squeezing it in his hand so hard it was turning red, but Deceit only winced. Jay couldn't stand being told what to do, so Deceit figured telling him to let go would just make it worse. He'd seen before how that went down, when someone challenged Jay. "I could ask you the same," Jay said, familiar emerald glinting in his eyes as he scowled. Deceit didn't know what Jay had to be angry about this time, but he was sure he'd find out soon. "You were with them again, weren't you?"

Deceit raised his eyebrows. Them? The light sides? "No. I don't pay attention to them, I was there because of Thomas."

Jealousy scoffed at that, leaning in closer to Deceit's face. "You can't lie to me," he seethed, making Deceit's heart sink. He hated when Jay said that to him. It was hard to lie to someone who was always lying to themselves—not that Jay would ever admit to that. "You're always with them, now. What is it, do you think you're one of them?" Jay was getting louder, he was going to attract someone else's attention if Deceit couldn't get him to calm down.

Tugging on his wrist, Deceit shook his head. "That's… Thomas is our main focus, it isn't about the rest of them. I'm only doing what's best for Thomas." That was…true, wasn't it? Deceit only went when he was called. Yes, they were calling for him more often, but what was he going to do? Ignore Thomas' needs?

Jay didn't take kindly to Deceit trying to move his arm. He slammed the lying side's arm over his head, against the wall. Crying out, Deceit snapped his head back to look at Jay, eyes wide as he watched the green overtaking Jay's eyes, no longer a glimmer. "You want to spend more time with them. You want to be just like them, don't you?"

Jay grabbed Deceit's face, squeezing his jaw. Why was he acting like this? Why did it matter so much if Deceit was just trying to help Thomas? That was everyone's (almost everyone's) goal. The light sides were too soft on Thomas, but if Deceit gained more input, wouldn't that be better? He thought that would make Jay happy. "They don't need you, Deceit. You're hardly even useful, here. What, you think a few lies will make Thomas turn to us for help? You think you can leave me for them?!"

With his mind churning a mile a second, Deceit stumbled over his reply, silver tongue rusting. "N—no, of course not!"

Jay growled and shoved his hand to the side, pushing Deceit's face away. "You're  _lying_."

No, no he wasn't, why didn't Jay believe anything Deceit said? He wasn't always lying. Before Deceit could say anything to defend himself, though, Jay was talking again. "You think they're better than I am, don't you? You'd rather be with them. Admit it." Jay was leaning so close, Deceit could feel his breath against his ear. Shuddering, Deceit swallowed, shutting his eyes. Jay was starting to scare him. He'd been acting so angry lately, he watched wherever Deceit went. Deceit knew Jay was still sore over Anxiety leaving, maybe he was just worried the light sides would steal all of them? That was ridiculous, though. Deceit had no place there.

"I'd rather be with you," Deceit promised. "You know that. I'd never choose them. It's just for Thomas, Jay." Deceit could only hope that was what Jay wanted to hear, because he didn't know how else to prove what he was saying.

Fortunately, Jay relaxed a fraction, his grip on Deceit's wrist loosening. Deceit let out a breath he hadn't known he'd been holding. "Good," Jay murmured. "I can't stand seeing you with them. They don't appreciate you." Jay cupped Deceit's face again, softer this time than he had before, but Deceit stiffened as he waited for the touch to change.

Instead, Jay turned Deceit to face him again. "I don't want you to get hurt, Deceit. You're one of us, you can't be one of them." Deceit knew that. He wasn't like Anxiety, lying to himself to fit in with the light sides.

"I know." Deceit nodded, affirming his words. Of course, he knew. Jay smiled, though it wasn't exactly a comforting look, his teeth too sharp, his eyes still glittering with a green fire.

"Good. They can't appreciate you, like I can." Jay lowered his head then, and Deceit tensed, confused, until Jay covered Deceit's mouth with his own.

Deceit's eyes went wide, his heart jumping in his chest. Something cold pooled in his belly, like someone had turned on a faucet. Gently pressing at Jay's chest, too afraid to just shove him off in case it would upset him, Deceit broke the kiss. "You can't kiss me," Deceit said, though obviously Jay could.

Jay smirked, as if Deceit had said something funny. Or, more like he was mocking. "Why not? You're mine, aren't you?"

What? No, why did…how did… Deceit blinked, trying to connect dots that he couldn't even see. "I…don't understand. Why would you want that?" Deceit asked. He'd seen a couple of the light sides together—Patton and Logan were a little too close, but that was…for them. The dark sides were different, weren't they?

"C'mon, Deceit. You've always been mine. You help Thomas see when everyone else is better than him, why we have to try harder. We go hand in hand, don't we?" Jay narrowed his eyes, and Deceit realized he'd probably offended him, now he had to fix it.

"Yes, of course…I should have seen that." Deceit cleared his throat and lifted his head, allowing Jay to kiss him again. Deceit was still, letting his eyes slip shut, uncertain of what else to do. Jay wasn't wrong, right? They'd always worked together, though Jay was sometimes a little intense and made Deceit's job harder. When Thomas fell into a spiral of lies, it threw everything into chaos, there was a balance.

But Jay had Thomas' best interest at heart…they both did. So, Deceit guessed it made sense for them to be together.

Right?


	3. Chapter 3

Deceit wasn't hiding. He was sitting in an unused room, alone, because he wanted to. That was it. It was what he was going to tell Jay if (when) the other found him. He was pretty sure Jay had already passed by the room, Deceit had heard him shout his name earlier. Deceit knew he was going to have to leave eventually. The cold was seeping into him, making him shiver—the darkest parts of Thomas' mind were always so frigid, and the chill was hungry, covering anyone and nearly devouring them.

Deceit rubbed at a bruise on his wrist until it started to hurt, throbbing anew like when he'd first gotten it. It was a gift from Jay. Jay liked leaving marks on Deceit, he always said it was his way of showing Deceit off as his. Deceit wasn't quite sure of the point, because he was careful to wear his cloak and gloves to cover any of the bruises. He tried his best to make sure Jay was happy so he wouldn't have to leave these bruises, but Jay seldom needed any real reason. He'd been especially annoyed lately, and Deceit had been working overtime to appease him and defuse his insecurities.

Like the other night, when he'd spent the night in Jay's room, promising him he was as important as the other sides, that Thomas needed him, he made Thomas' life better. Deceit was spending most of his energy comforting Jay, and in turn he'd been pulling away from Thomas and the others. Deceit didn't have the time for them.

Thomas was struggling because of it, yesterday he'd even admitted a truth that hurt one of his friends. It would've been easy to spare their feelings with a white lie, but Deceit hadn't noticed Logan attempting to summon him. Besides, they didn't really need him. Jay had said so, all Deceit did was offer Thomas the choice. Thomas seldom chose to lie, anyway. Deceit's influence didn't matter much, so he was sure the others wouldn't even notice.

With a trembling sigh, Deceit leaned his head back against the wall he was leaning against. He hadn't thought things would change so much, being together with Jay. He wondered if anyone else felt as…tired. Deceit didn't even want to see Jay—but he did, of course he did. Jay was his boyfriend, they were meant for each other. Jay wanted what was best for Deceit, and he knew the lying side would just get hurt if he stayed with the light sides. They didn't want his input, anyway.

Deceit heard a loud thud from somewhere nearby, and decided it was about time to move. He couldn't tell if it was Jealousy or Anger, but he wasn't quite in the mood for either. Risking a glance out into the hallway, Deceit deemed it safe enough to leave, heading down the dim corridor with his cloak tucked tight around him. He'd have to confront Jay eventually (which, he wasn't actually hiding, he loved seeing Jay. Deceit just needed to breathe) but for now, Deceit wanted to head back to his room.

Rounding a corner, Deceit ran into someone else, and he had to swallow a gasp. Snapping his head up to look at the newcomer, anticipating yelling to start, Deceit was surprised to meet with familiar violet eyes. "Anxiety?" Deceit asked, his brows drawn in confusion. Anxiety didn't often like to come to the dark side of Thomas' mind now, not since he'd gotten his pretty welcome from the main sides. "How welcome."

Virgil narrowed his eyes, appraising Deceit in a way that made the lying side cut his own eyes to the side. "Haven't heard that name in a while," Virgil sighed, leaning against the wall. How he could look so comfortable was beyond Deceit, who didn't even feel the same ease, and he actually belonged here. Then, Virgil had never been as bothered by the other dark sides. For being anxiety, he wasn't very afraid of who he should be. "Where've you been? You ignored us when we tried to call for you."

Deceit shrugged, not noticing his cloak had slipped off one of his arms when he'd run into Virgil. "It matters so much, doesn't it? You always do listen to my advice so well." Deceit reached up to push his hat up where it'd slipped down. Why would Anxiety go out of his way to come down here, just to lecture Deceit about not popping up? They didn't care, to begin with!

"We still needed it, otherwise we wouldn't…have…" Virgil trailed off, his eyes having glanced down at Deceit's bared arm. Marred into pale flesh, were thin bruises…bruises like fingers. Without thinking, Virgil reached out and took Deceit's hand, lifting his arm up into the light. "What the hell is that?" Virgil asked, his voice raising in incredulity. He looked at Deceit's face, who'd suddenly paled.

Deceit yanked his arm back like Virgil had burned him, hiding it under his cloak again. "Don't worry about it," Deceit snapped, his fangs making him hiss whenever he got so annoyed. "I must've hit it when Thomas last summoned me. None of you are graceful in summoning." Deceit shoved past Virgil, pushing him aside as he stormed away, clutching his arm underneath his cloak. Virgil watched him go, mouth dropped at the angry display.

Deceit slammed his door shut, basking in the cool, dark sanctuary in his room. He took a rapid breath, not noticing he'd been holding it. Virgil didn't have any business asking questions or worrying. It was just how Jay acted. He lost his temper, sometimes. Deceit knew he wasn't easy to deal with, it wasn't his boyfriend's fault he needed to put him in his place sometimes. Deceit tried to push his own ideas too much, tried to influence Thomas in the wrong ways. Like when Deceit didn't think it was good to hide the fact Thomas was feeling down, and lying to his friends about being okay would just make it worse. The other dark sides didn't like weakness, and they thought Deceit made Thomas weak.

Deceit flinched when he heard his doorknob turning, glancing to the side when a familiar figure slipped into the room. "Jay, I wasn't expecting you," Deceit said smoothly, trying to stand still as the jealous side moved in close.

"Missed you," Jay murmured, ducking his head to kiss Deceit. He knocked Deceit's hat off, sending it clattering to the floor, and grabbed a handful of Deceit's cloak to pull him close. Deceit tilted his head, trying to kiss Jay back, but the other male always kissed so hard it was impossible to keep up with him. It was easier to just let Jay do what he wanted. Deceit let his hand rest on Jay's shoulder, the touch light and hesitant; nothing like Jay's hands when they roved across Deceit's body.

It…sort of made Deceit uncomfortable, the way Jay touched him. He put his hands all over him, grabbing and squeezing. Jay said this was what they were supposed to do, though. The last time Deceit had pulled away, mumbling about being uncertain, Jay had called him selfish.

Suddenly, Jay hooked his fingers in Deceit's cloak and ripped the article off, letting it drop to the floor. Confused, Deceit broke the kiss. "Jay, what are—"

Jay grabbed Deceit's jaw, forcing him into another kiss. "Ssh," Jay hushed, this time curling his fingers in the hem of Deceit's shirt and starting to tug on it. "Get out of these," Jay told Deceit.

Deceit glanced at his door, gently trying to lower his arms. "Jay, I'm not…why don't we wait until another night?" he asked, turning his gaze to Jay's eyes. Green was beginning to bleed into the former darkness of Jay's eyes, making Deceit shiver. "I mean—"

"You don't want to be with me?" Jay asked, his fingers tightening on Deceit's face, harder and harder. Deceit reached up quickly and wrapped his fingers around Jay's wrist. "You're mine, aren't you? I've been waiting patiently for you, Deceit. Everyone else does this. Why can't we?"

Deceit swallowed, and apparently swallowed his ability to talk, because he didn't have an answer. "I…I didn't…" Deceit stammered, wishing Jay didn't have the power to steal his voice. Talking was Deceit's strength, after all. "Of course, we can. I just meant…the bed might be better," Deceit said, moving his hand to cup Jay's face. If this was what Jay wanted, it must be fine.

Jay smirked. "I knew you wanted this," he said, and suddenly he was shoving Deceit hard, making him fall backwards onto his bed. Deceit felt like the blankets were tangling around him, the mattress sinking and trying to swallow him as he tried to scramble upright.

Yes, he wanted this.


	4. Chapter 4

Deceit tilted his head back while Jay kissed at his neck, though the kisses were mostly teeth. Deceit winced at the bites, the sharp glide of fangs against his throat making him clench his jaw to hide any sounds of pain. Jay’s hands were freezing when they slid underneath Deceit’s shirt. Not bothering to undo the buttons of Deceit’s top, Jay ripped them open. Deceit flinched, his mouth falling open in a gasp. Jay kissed him hard when Deceit’s mouth was still open, forcing his tongue past Deceit’s lips. Deceit shut his eyes tight, uncertain of how to respond, but it didn’t seem like he needed to. Jay’s teeth cut into Deceit’s lower lip, and the taste of iron tinted the kiss.

“Jay, t…take it easy,” Deceit said, pushing a hand at the other’s chest. Jay just grabbed Deceit’s arm and shoved it down, ignoring Deceit’s words. Deceit tried to relax, but he felt as wound up as a bowstring, unable to loosen up. Jay only pulled away long enough to shed some of his own clothes. When he opened the front of his pants, he pulled his cock out, making Deceit’s face heat up. Instead of feeling turned on by it, though, Deceit just looked away, uncomfortable with the thought of Jay being naked. Maybe something was wrong with him, wasn’t he supposed to be aroused? He just felt confused, and repulsed.

Without warning, Jay was working to undo Deceit’s own pants, and the lying side’s stomach sank. “Jay, wait, wait.” Deceit sat up some, but Jay didn’t stop, yanking the zipper of Deceit’s jeans down and subsequently tugging them halfway down his thighs. “Jay!” Deceit said, his voice getting higher in pitch as he pushed Jay’s hands away.

Suddenly, Jay was shoving Deceit down into the mattress, looming over him like a prowling animal. Deceit stared into Jay’s furious face with wide eyes, his heart thundering. “Shut up,” Jay hissed. “You can’t lie to me. You said you wanted this.”  He kept a hand on Deceit’s wrist and reached down with the other hand, moving it between Deceit’s shaking thighs. Deceit winced, his stomach tying itself in knots. Okay, this was okay. Jay was right, Deceit had already agreed. He wanted this. He was supposed to want this. People did this all the time, right?

Deceit tried not to squirm away from Jay’s hand as it worked him into hardness, gritting his teeth. Deceit wasn’t sure what would be worse, letting out a whimper, or a moan. It wouldn’t have mattered either way. Everything felt so fast, like it was passing by in a blur. Deceit felt like he wanted to throw up, like he wanted to run, but he had nowhere to put that energy so all he could do was tremble.

Jay didn’t notice, that or he didn’t care. Deceit could place a bet on either. His pants were slipped all the way off his legs then, the fabric feeling scratchy against his now sensitive skin. Deceit took in a quick breath, but it did little to soothe the burn in his chest. It was just too much, too fast. He wasn’t even sure how he was supposed to react.

A sudden pain between his legs made Deceit flinch, pulling his legs close. “Don’t tense up,” Jay snapped, his voice harsh and making Deceit do the exact opposite. Murmuring an apology, Deceit turned his face to the side and tried his best to loosen up. It still hurt, Jay hadn’t bothered to wet his fingers and he was doing it way too hard. Deceit wasn’t sure how it was supposed to feel, but was it supposed to hurt so much? All he could do was grit his teeth and cling to the sheets. He reached up once, for Jay’s arm, but Jay had shrugged him off.

Jay pulled his fingers away suddenly, and spat into his hand, moving it to his own cock. Deceit’s breathing picked up, like he couldn’t catch it, and he glanced down. No, he was wrong, he couldn’t do this. This was too much, it felt so wrong. Deceit felt sick. “Jay, hold on,” Deceit said, trying to push himself up. Jay wasn’t listening, though, he placed a hand on Deceit’s hip, his grip hard. Why wasn’t he listening? Deceit tried again, raising his voice. “Stop! I changed my mind, I don’t want to do this.”

Jay smirked. It wasn’t the reaction Deceit had expected. “Such a liar,” Jay purred, drawing his knuckles down Deceit’s face. Wait, what? No!

“No, I’m serious, I don’t want this—” Deceit stumbled over his words, but they were clear, frantic. Jay chuckled, moving between Deceit’s legs, ignoring the squirming. “Jay!”

“Pretty liar. I knew you wanted this, love. Keep saying it,” Jay murmured. Deceit was panicking, trying to push Jay backwards, but he didn’t want to hurt the other. He was too afraid making Jay angry would make this worse. Jay pushed forward then, sinking himself into Deceit, and Deceit screamed. It hurt, and he didn’t want this—not like this. Tears sprung to Deceit’s eyes before he could catch himself, and they streamed down his face as Jay moved into him, never even pausing.

“Jay, slow down…please,” Deceit said through grit teeth, struggling not to move too much, doing his best to lessen the discomfort.

“I’ll give you what you want, Dee. Keep pretending you don’t like it,” Jay growled against Deceit’s ear, starting to go faster. Deceit decided it was best if he just shut up. He drifted in and out of the experience, it felt like, almost like sometimes he was only watching it happen instead of being a part. Jay nipped at his neck and ear occasionally, his fingers roaming all across Deceit’s body as he fucked into him. “See? You’re made for this. I’m the only one who cares about you. The others just forget and ignore you,” Jay kept talking, kept saying things that seemed to make Deceit cry even more. Was Jay right? Did he mean all of this?

By the time Jay finished, Deceit hardly noticed him pulling away. Jay redressed after he cleaned himself off, leaving Deceit lying on the bed. “Go clean up,” he ordered. Deceit nodded, but he didn’t dare to say anything. He wasn’t sure he could talk. He couldn’t bring himself to move until Jay had left the room, and when he did, Deceit just curled up on his bed and really let go. Sobs heaved from his chest, his entire body shaking. Jay always did see through his lies, he always knew what Deceit really wanted. He knew Deceit better than Deceit knew himself.

Deceit was just such a liar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hurt myself real bad with this kiddos. Also, I tried to hint that Deceit was asexual, but there was no real place to actually say it, and now I’m rereading and worried the hinting is too vague. Obviously, he was going to be uncomfortable either way, but his sexual identity definitely added to his repulsion.


	5. Chapter 5

“Virgil, slow down, are you sure?” Patton asked, trying to calm Virgil down. Logan was standing beside them, his brows furrowed as he listened to the story. 

“Yes, maybe it was the shadows. The recesses are dimly lit,” Logan said. Virgil looked close to tearing out his own hair.

“I know what I saw, it was a bruise. When I asked him, he got all defensive and stormed off!” The others didn’t know Deceit, not like Virgil did. Virgil knew something was going on, he just couldn’t see what it was. He didn’t know how to fix it. Maybe Deceit had meant what he’d said, but Virgil couldn’t make himself believe that. Glancing to the side for Roman’s input, because Virgil had wanted to tell all of them, Virgil noticed the creative side was absent. “I thought Roman was in the kitchen?”

* * *

Roman grumbled under his breath as he stormed down the hallway. Gosh darn dark sides, why did they have to live in, well, the dark?! You could hardly see your own hand in front of your face down here. Granted, the candles were a nice touch…very Disney villain. Roman had a reason for coming down here, which he tended to avoid, but he often got into skirmishes with the dark sides. They tried too hard to impede creativity and passion. Both he and Patton had the most trouble with them. Logan was good at compromising, and Virgil…well, Roman didn’t know how things worked over here, but the other dark sides didn’t seem to mess with Virgil much.

Roman caught sight of someone approaching and straightened up. “You!” Roman snapped, making Jealousy raise his head. He already looked angry, a scowl on his face. “Wipe that look off your face, Gumby. Have you seen Deceit? He missed another meeting!” Roman crossed his arms, glaring down at the dark side.

Jealousy only rolled his eyes. “You light sides are unbelievable. Don’t you have enough?” Jealousy hissed, making Roman wince. He never cared for that sound they made. He’d even tried copying it, but he just didn’t have the…dark.

“You are insufferable,” Roman said, watching Jealousy stomp off. Why were they all in such a bad mood? Even Virgil had been permanently grumpy for a while, there, the weird little shadowlings.

Roman continued down the hall, now more annoyed for having dealt with Jealousy. He heard a door open somewhere ahead and picked up the pace, turning the corner towards the door. He almost ran someone right over, said someone making a startled sound. Roman stumbled backwards, hand on his chest, and peered down at…Deceit! “Finally! Where have you been?!” Roman exclaimed, not noticing Deceit jump.

Deceit hugged his arms around himself, trembling and backing away from Roman. Roman wasn’t who Deceit wanted to see. Roman was loud, and he hated the dark sides, and what if he attracted Jealousy? The thought alone made Deceit cringe. If Jealousy heard him talking to Roman, he would lose it. Jealousy couldn’t stand Creativity, he never thought Roman was good enough. “Are you even listening to me?” Roman asked then, reaching out for Deceit. Deceit flinched almost violently, pulling away.

“Don’t touch me!” Deceit said, but though he tried to hiss, it only came out desperate. “I…I mean, please, go ahead.” Deceit felt like his mind was glitching. He couldn’t get his thoughts straight, separate his truths from his lies. Roman paused, arm still outstretched, his eyes wide as he looked over Deceit. Roman stepped closer, into some of the nearby candlelight, and his mouth dropped.

“Oh, my god,” Roman muttered, looking over the bruises on Deceit’s wrist, on his face. Deceit had dressed in a haphazard hurry, he’d just wanted to get out of that room. He’d neglected putting on anything but his pants and shirt. He looked a wreck. “What…who did this to you?” Roman asked, clenching his fists.

Oh, no—bad, anger was bad. Deceit had to make him not angry. “Nothing—it’s nothing to worry about. I’m fine,” Deceit said, looking right into Roman’s eyes. He was lying, Roman knew that. Deceit always looked you in the eye when he lied. Roman thought back to moments ago, about who he passed by in the hall…coming right from this direction.

Roman shook his head, clearing that thought. “You’re coming with me,” he said, looking at how distressed Deceit looked. Roman reached out, and Deceit pulled back again, straightening up, and Roman noticed the…were those bites, on Deceit’s neck? Roman’s stomach churned suddenly, and he felt quite like the world had dropped from beneath his feet. Deceit stumbled when he tried to back away, a pained sound rising in his throat. “Can you walk?” Roman asked, uncertain of what he should do. This wasn’t his specialty, he wasn’t…this should be Patton, or maybe even Virgil. At least Deceit was familiar with Virgil.

Deceit was silent for a few moments, glancing around Roman’s shoulder, like he was waiting on something. Finally, slowly, he shook his head. “Can I pick you up?” Roman didn’t see what else he should do, even if Deceit looked like he’d rather fall through the floor. Deceit hugged himself tighter, but he did nod once, his jaw clenched tight.

Roman was careful as he lifted the smaller side up, holding him close. Deceit squeezed his eyes shut, too afraid to face Jealousy should he pop up. Time must still be a little skewed for Deceit, because when he next opened his eyes, it was to several voices trying to speak at once.

“Deceit?!”

“What happened? Is he hurt?”

“Set him down, Roman. Let me see him.”

The last voice was Virgil’s, Deceit could pick it out. The plush cushions of the couch felt rough against Deceit’s skin, everything felt so uncomfortable. His clothes were sticky, hot. Virgil sat in front of Deceit, keeping a small distance, looking at the other side with so much worry it made Deceit’s chest hurt. “Deceit…what happened?” Virgil asked, the other three hovering around the couch with varying degrees of horror. Patton looked on the verge of tears.

Deceit stared at Virgil for a moment, until fresh tears welled in his eyes, and he reached his arms out. Virgil didn’t hesitate to wrap his arms around Deceit, pulling him close and holding him while Deceit sobbed against his chest, shaking so hard it was a miracle he didn’t shake himself apart. Virgil rubbed at Deceit’s back softly, worried about how to touch him in case he accidentally hurt him. Logan left then, disappearing into the kitchen, while Patton and Roman stood near the couch, both feeling out of place but not wanting to leave.

It took several minutes for Deceit to cry himself out. All the while Virgil hushed him quietly, trying to comfort him. Logan came back and sat beside Virgil, holding a glass of water and a couple of small pills. “Painkillers,” Logan explained. “I believe they’ll benefit.”

Deceit pulled away, his eyes red and cheeks shining. Virgil was still holding him as Deceit took the medicine and downed half the glass of water. “How bad are you hurt?” Logan asked, and Deceit took a tremulous breath, shaking his head. Logan, with more patience than the others often saw of him, tried again. “We cannot help if we don’t know, Deceit.”

Virgil placed a hand on Deceit’s back. “Hey, look at me,” he murmured. Deceit cut his eyes to the side, towards Virgil. “Devin, please. Talk to us.”

Roman blinked. Devin? He shook his head, snapping out of it. “I saw that cretin Jealousy leaving, he was coming from Dec—er, Devin’s room,” he said. Devin cut a shocked, stricken look at Roman, and Virgil’s expression darkened so much, he might’ve become an actual storm cloud.

“You saw him?” he asked Roman, before turning towards Devin, who was looking away, his shaking renewed. “Is that true? Dev, listen—look at me, please!” Virgil tried his best to keep his voice soft, but Deceit still felt a bite of panic, immediately snapping his gaze up like Virgil asked. “Did Jealousy do this?”

He nodded, slowly, waiting for Jay to pop up at any moment. Jay was going to absolutely kill him. Patton moved forward, then, his expression broken up. “Dee… _what_  did he do?”

Deceit hugged himself again, tears shining in his eyes. “I…I told him I didn’t want to. I swear I meant it,” he whispered. Virgil flinched, and Logan recoiled, realization appearing to strike them both. Roman, suspicions confirmed, grimaced in disgust. Patton looked between the three, covering his mouth as the tears in his eyes finally began to slip down his cheeks. “Oh, kiddo, no—no, we believe you.” Patton knelt down before Virgil and Deceit. “We believe you.”

A warmth bloomed in Deceit’s chest, easing his breathing. He knew it was Patton’s influence, trying to calm him, and it was working, slowly but surely. Deceit sniffed, beginning to catch his breath. He still felt…well, he felt a lot. He felt dirty and gross, and exhausted, and he hurt, but the painkillers were starting to work. “Patton, can you…take him? He can clean up,” Virgil said, helping Deceit stand. He was on shaky legs, leaning into Patton. Before Deceit could say anything, Roman was at his side, murmuring for permission before he picked Deceit up.

Patton led them to his own room, where he had Roman set Deceit in the bathroom. “Do you want to shower by yourself? I’ll wait right outside,” Patton asked, watching Deceit’s expression.

Deceit definitely didn’t want anyone else looking at his body, today. So, he nodded, and Patton left to stand outside the door while Deceit undressed. He showered slowly, using water that was too hot and way too much soap, scrubbing until even that hurt. He felt a little better after the shower, and when he stepped out, he noticed Patton had set fresh clothes on the countertop for him.

The pain medicine had kicked in fully, and now that he was calmer, Deceit found it easier to walk. He left the bathroom, dressed in a pair of Patton’s pajamas. Patton hopped up off his bed, glancing Deceit up and down. Deceit didn’t know what was wrong with him, but right now, everything made him feel like crying. Patton looking at him like that, like he didn’t know what to say, but like Deceit was something…precious, made him want to cry.

So, he did, tears springing to his eyes and making him bring a hand to his face. Patton’s expression softened, and when Deceit started to sink to the ground, he rushed forward and caught him, sitting on the floor with Deceit wrapped up in his arms. “I told him I didn’t want to—he called me a liar,” Deceit said, his voice catching. “I am, aren’t I? He kept telling me he was the only one who needed me.”

Patton was crying, too, but he rested his chin on top of Deceit’s head so the other wouldn’t know. “No, Dee. He was the one who was lying,” Patton murmured. Deceit froze, Patton’s words echoing in his head. Exhaustion overwhelmed him suddenly, and he sank against Patton, limp.

_Jay had been lying._


	6. Chapter 6

The lights in the common room were flickering, making Logan and Roman share a look as Virgil sat on the couch, head in hands, trying to calm himself. “Virgil,” Logan said, trying to get through to the anxious side.

“I shouldn’t have left.” Virgil’s voice was deep and distorted, making Roman shiver as a chill raced up his back. “There was no one to protect him.”

Logan didn’t possess Patton’s natural comfort, but he could still offer something. Taking a seat beside Virgil, he rested an uncertain hand on the other’s back. “This was no one’s fault but Jealousy’s,” Logan said, feeling Virgil stiffen beneath his hand at the name. “This escaped all of us. The best we can do now is be there for Deceit.”

Virgil clenched his hands in his hair, knuckles turning white. “He isn’t going back,” he said, voice still sounding like a glitch. Roman rubbed at his arm, wary, but he was quick to bury that thought. Deceit was a dark side, but he was still there for the good of Thomas, and he didn’t deserve this. He never deserved this.

Clearing his throat, Roman nodded. “We’ll keep him safe, here. I’ll deal with Jealousy, so he won’t try—”

“No,” Virgil cut Roman off. “I’ll deal with him.” When he looked up, his eyes looked they held a violet fire, making Roman swallow any argument he might’ve had. He backed up, and even Logan didn’t appear wont to protest. Virgil stood, and without another word, vanished from the room.

Roman looked at Logan. “I knew some of them were…dangerous. I didn’t think like this.”

Logan sighed heavily, pressing the tips of his fingers to his temples. “None of us did, or we would’ve done something sooner. Now we just have to assist Deceit in recovering.”

Roman rubbed at his arm, taking a seat beside Logan and leaning against him. “Do you think Virgil will be all right?”

Logan let Roman lean on him, secretly taking comfort from it himself. “I don’t think it’s him we should worry about.”

* * *

 The shadows themselves seemed to shrink away from Virgil as he stormed through the darkness, heading towards the dark sides’ common room. He thought he caught sight of a pair of red eyes, but they were gone before he could even think to snap at them. When Virgil came upon the common room, there stood the most pathetic side of them all.

“What the hell are you—” Jealousy began, and never finished. Virgil snatched him off the couch and slammed him backwards, against the wall. When he wasn’t slouched over, Virgil rose well above most of the other sides. His eyes burned with a hateful anger, and if it were possible, he truly wished he could’ve erased this particular side.

“If you ever come near him again,” Virgil hissed, his voice shaking the entire room. The distortion made Jealousy wince, his fingers trying to pry at Virgil’s hand where it gripped his shirt. “I’ll lock you somewhere even Thomas won’t find you. You’ll never breathe another word to him, you’ll never poison him with your influence.” Jealousy’s eyes widened, like he was saying “you wouldn’t,” but Virgil never wavered. He pulled his arm back and slammed Jealousy into the wall again, and the dark side spat out a swear.

“Don’t let him tell you he didn’t want me. He’s nothing but a liar,” Jay said, his voice breathless. Virgil snapped a little, and he swung his arm, punching Jay and sending him flying to the floor.

“You’re fucking pathetic,” he snapped, harshly resisting the urge to tear Jealousy apart. Anger could have this mess. “Don’t you ever touch him again, don’t you even look at him. He’s never coming back to you,” Virgil spat, walking over Jealousy and not caring if he hurt him. It was too much of a mercy leaving Jealousy; Virgil wanted to leave as many marks as Jealousy had left on Deceit, but he knew better than to feed into that darkness. It was too easy to slip, especially for a dark side. Former dark side.

Sinking back into the light sides’ common area, Roman jumped up at the sight of Virgil. “Virge! Are you…is he…” Roman didn’t seem to know where to start. Virgil gave him a hand.

“I’m fine. He’s not. And he won’t be going anywhere near Dee.” With that, Virgil slipped past his friends, heading for Patton’s room. He knocked softly, and Patton creaked the door open. Seeing it was Virgil, he opened the door and let him inside. “Is he okay?” Virgil asked, looking around Patton and seeing Deceit on the moral side’s bed.

“He passed out, he needs time to recover. There might be a lot of just sleeping for a few days,” Patton murmured, looking over Deceit. “You might want to stay with him? He’s more comfortable with you, I bet, and he might be nervous waking up in here alone.”

Virgil nodded, thanking Patton as he took his leave. Approaching the bed, Virgil sat down. The slight movement made sleepy eyes blink open and look up at him. “It’s just me, Dev,” Virgil murmured. He shed his jacket and draped it over Devin, noting that the lying side was probably uncomfortable without his familiar cloak. Devin clung to the fabric, pulling it close.

“I’m…sorry,” Devin murmured. Virgil narrowed his eyes, reaching out to comb Devin’s hair from his face.

“You’ve got no reason to apologize. This wasn’t your fault. You’re safe now, I swear,” Virgil told him, lying down beside Devin. Devin inched closer, until Virgil hugged him and pulled him against his chest. It’d been a long time since Virgil had been this close. It made Devin feel…safe. It was safe. Shutting his eyes, Devin allowed himself to relax, starting to fall asleep again. It might be a while before he believed Virgil, but truth be told…Virgil had never been a very good liar. He’d always relied on Deceit to tell the stories.

Maybe they really did need him.

Maybe he really was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter! This was a lot of fun to write and share with you guys, thank you for each comment/kudos. I hope to see you again in the future! :)

**Author's Note:**

> Hey friends! So a post of mine on tumblr (@mendaxiety) gained some traction recently with an idea I had and I decided to finally do something with it. So, here’s the first chapter. It probably won’t be long at all, but the idea was hard to condense into one chapter, and I figured it was easier to get the ball rolling this way. 
> 
> Jealousy is something I struggle with very deeply myself, so I chose to make that the bad side/antagonist here.


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